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The Scale
So picture if you will a scale. Now it can be any kind of scale, the one I have pictured in my mind is the old fashioned kind you see in old books. I am not sure of its actual name but really it is of no importance since the name has nothing to do with this post just that you get a mental picture in your mind of a scale.
Now imagine filling one side up with family and the love they bring. Now take the beauty of Alaska and the wonderful stories it has created and place it in the scale along with the family.
This has really tipped the scale to one side but bear in mind that the other side is still empty.
Now add the friends, some made over many years and some made more recently but all missed dearly.
So this side of the scale is heavy with the memories of past times in a beautiful place. To some it would seem that is all one would need to be happy.
Again bear in mind the scale is empty on the other side.
Now imagine filling the raised empty side with new family. Family that can not quite replace the ones left behind but family none the less.
The heavy side starts to raise a little as this is added, but only a little bit.
Now add to the same almost empty side the adventure of discovering a new land and the excitement at those new memories.
Again the scale tips a little more making the raised side seem not so light.
Now lets add new made friends. Again these friends could never replace the life long friends of far away but they are friends none the less.
Now finally the scale stands still.
Not even, just still.
The side filled first is still the heaviest.
Could one realize the value of the first filled side without comparing it to the second filled one?
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I am not sure if anyone gets what I am trying to say here so I will try to further explain.
Recently as the days go by I see myself missing Alaska and all who were left behind and I know my children and husband must also. I have caught myself telling a story from back home and then someone will ask "Well, why did you guys move?"
It is a hard question to answer especially to someone who does not know me well.
I guess that's where I came up with the scale. This is the first time I have tried to describe it to anyone and still not sure if it makes since.
I feel in some way we had to fill the other side of the scale and balance it out a little more.
We know we will always belong in Alaska and we can't wait until the day we return but we will appreciate it now a little more.
Until that time though we will continue to explore, learn and love until we all meet again.
To our family and friends.
4 comments:
You described it very well, a very well written piece of your feelings. Trust me, I know what you are feeling and saying. As a young man, eighteeen years old, I left my family and started traveling around the world. I saw sights, sounds, and had adventures that would last a lifetime, but I always missed two things, Alaska and family. Our family has always been close, the years that we spent on Recruiting duty in Colorado, if two members of the family got together for a picnic or Chrismtas party, the entire clan of seven families would show up for the event. I spent Christmas aboard the ship one year so some of the other guys could go home, it was the loniest Christmas I ever had. I made good friends on the ship, working as a team we bonded because we had todepend on one another, but my friends and family in Alaska always remained those that I missed. Perhaps, that is about the time that I decided to have my home town and state tatooed on my arm, to serve as a constant reminder to me where home was and that one day, I would return. Twenty years later, I came home.
Stan says it so well. You say it even better. You are right - we have to move on in life and make new friends and meet new family. That doesn't make it any easier for those of us who stay behind! :)
I had my time tho - I left my own family at 18 yrs and made a new family with STan and I have appreciated and enjoyed every minute of my life - having 4 beautiful, wonderful and much loved children was definitely the highlite. Then along came all those adoreable cherished grandkids. Wow! How lucky am I?
Have a good day. - Love you guys.
I understand what you describe, Im torn cause I had to move away from my family when I was little with my mom, set on new adventures. I was not sad when I left I was excited to go to a new state I had never been in. Now I live up here, and dream of going Home. Yes Michigan is my home Alaska is were I live. I do love that you decided to go down there and check it all out. It is very different than up here. I do love it up here, the beauty and vastness of the land is indescribable. I do miss you very much, and am glad you can not replace me! LOL but I do believe we need to explore our earth and find what we can call home. I know Travis loves it here and says he will never move. I am adventurous and hate that he says that. I feel there is so much out there and want to see it. Take your time down there see what you can. I lived in the states and seen lots in my childhood and can still say I never saw it all. Life down there is old and there is lots to see. Take your time, most of us will still be here when you get back. I will always be your friend...
Erica I too well can understand that scale...amazing what a new perspective of the world gives us. Good Luck and know your all always thought of and loved here in Alaska. I kinda miss the talks we used to have. I miss your smile when your happy and the strong sense of need to learn everything about life. Kinda of like myself. I am sorry for harsh feelings of the past and hope someday we can talk some of them out. Love to you and the kids and give my baby brother a big hug.
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