Monday, June 13, 2011

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Saturday, May 08, 2010

MOVING TO MEXICO

Dear Mr. President:

I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my health, and I would like to ask you to assist me.

We're planning to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico , and we'll need your help to make a few arrangements.

We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws.

I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do here. So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Calderon, that I'm on my way over?

Please let him know that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.

2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.

3. Please print all Mexican government forms in English.

4. I want my grandkids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual) teachers.

5. Tell their schools they need to include classes on American culture and history.

6. I want my grandkids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.

7. Please plan to feed my grandkids at school for both breakfast and lunch.

8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to government services.

9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico but I don't plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won't make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.

10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking officer.

11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U. S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments from the locals.

12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.

13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.

14. I want to receive free food stamps.

15. Naturally, I'll expect free rent subsidies.

16. I'll need Income tax credits so although I don't pay Mexican Taxes, I'll receive money from the government.

17. Please arrange it so that the Mexican Gov't pays $4,500 to help me buy a new car.
18. Oh yes, I almost forgot, please enroll me free into the Mexican Social Security program so that I'll get a monthly income in retirement.

I know this is an easy request because you already do all these things for all his people who walk over to the U.S. from Mexico . I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.

Thank you so much for your kind help. You're the man!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I posted this post the other day and somehow it ended up back on April 6th, not sure why but I am re posting it!

Today I have less than two month deadline till my feet touch the salty sands of AP beach and it hits me that I have like zero time left. This is my neurotic side kicking and trying to freak myself out. Well its working.
Some hard choices need to be made and made now as to avoid split decisions we will pay for for a long time. We have two dogs, two ferrets and one cat and we have to figure out what we are going to do with them all. Monty the cat is easy as my grandma can stop by at night and feed her but expecting or even asking my grandma to take care of Koda and Kenai again is not an option. Koda's future is uncertain and that weighs heavily on me, knowing that it will be I who makes the decision on whether we get him fixed and HOPE it works (even the vets aren't so sure this will curb his "attitude problem") or to put him down. Kenai on the other we are looking at finding her another home, one where she gets out in a yard more to run and her owners have more time for her.
The ferrets are joining us in our long trek up and we are excited for you all to meet them. Luna and Amy will soon go in for their shots and papers and they will be official! The vet visit for them should not be too bad as they count as one, we would have to pay extra for their shots. Still trying to figure out if I should stuff them both in one bag or should I go legit and go with two (75 vs 150 plus cost of extra kennel). I do not think the airlines is going to open it up and let them out to check but you never know.
I am also thinking of things like traveling for the first time with an infant. This has me a bit freaked out as I do not know how Shane will do since he is still breast fed and he LIKES his schedules. I am already accepting of the fact that I will be that parent with the whiny baby stuck on a plane for eight hours. I am not sure how we are going to work it out with the restrictions on what you can carry (formula and breast milk) so the airlines will be getting a weird call to have those questions answered.
I have already started to mentally pack and with the charges we will face at the ticket counter for our bags, I am thinking bare necessity. I am going to do the math tonight and see if it would be more cost effective to send things up with flat rate shipping or just pay the baggage fee.
If using the postal service is more cost effective you can look forward to seeing boxes marked for the moose den arriving soon!
Then after we leave I have to worry about my house. We are only leaving poor Monty and while she requires minimal attention but our house can not look like no one lives here. So now I am having to pay for yard service while I am gone which was supposed to be the land lord's job. I sure wish I had family I would trust to stay in my home while I was gone!
Rental car and hotel reservations, vet visits and long phone conversations with the airlines.
Bags for travel and kennels to be bought...
Appointments to be made...
House to be cleaned and secured so when I get back the end of July all I have to do is put on clean sheets...
All this and regular life going on, like a boy turning 9!
Really?
Is he really nine?
Wow, he is almost out of the single digits!
Well that has been my whiny unfocused post and now I will quit my complaining and start doing, as time is RUNNING out!
Just know that while I complain of the things to do I am SO looking forward to seeing the HITW recreation site and am looking forward to a glass of wine on my front porch!
Anyone care to join me?

Friday, April 23, 2010