I am writing this letter to finally end this childish rumor spreading, name calling and finger pointing. I have been pushed to this point and now it is time to clear it all. This will be the last letter I will write on this subject. It is over. I am done. I will no longer be pushed around and badmouthed and be expected to just take it. I am only human and there for can only take so much abuse before I put a stop to it. I have also kept my mouth shut out of respect to my husband and his relationship with his family. I know some will read this and say to themselves “When has she kept anything in and when has she ever shut her mouth?” I actually done this quite often and as of late even more so.

I recently sent a message to a couple of family members containing a list of items that I had for sale. I thought that they might be interested in some of the items and would have sold them cheaper to family. One of them wrote me a message back and after reading it several times, I am still puzzled by it. This letter came out of no where and was a personal attack on me. This letter contained several accusations that have no merit and once again this person has felt she has the right to condemn me for things she has made up in her own head. I have sat on this letter for that last couple of days deciding what I should do. After speaking with my husband I decided that the time has come for me to write this letter. I decided to place it here on Blogger so that everyone would have a chance to read what has been written so as not to allow this person to twist the truth any longer. I know you might think that maybe airing our dirty laundry for all to see was not the best idea but I an tired of all the lies and twisting of the truth. There are a few points I would like to make before I begin.

The first thing I want known is Heath and I are moving. This is a decision made by both of us and we have decided to move to Nebraska. I have family down there that has not seen me in almost twenty years and have never had the pleasure of meeting my children. We are not under the impression that this move will fix all, but change is sometimes good.

The second thing I want to make clear and if there is anything that those reading this retain, please let it be this. I do love my husband’s family as if they were my own and while I have done things in the past to hurt some of you to be fair and honest I have also been hurt.

The third thing is I am not perfect. I have not and never will claim that I am. I am only human and therefore make many mistakes. Any person can look around them and find flaws in every person they meet. It is easy to look at someone’s choices and say “I would have done it differently” or “That was a bad choice”. I try not to do that because you never fully know the situation that caused that decision to be made.

This letter was received when I have little to no contact with her for a couple of months. I did write a blog on myspace that pertained to several people in my life who I am tired of acting like high school teenagers with their gossiping and rumor spreading. This was a general letter meant for several people but I will not lie and say that this person was not one the people I was talking about. This person took offense to this letter and even had her own daughter respond to it. The blog on myspace is there for ME to vent and it is my right to put my feelings into words. I do not feel guilty for writing it because it was the truth.
I will post the letter she sent me exactly as I received it. I was accused of possibly altering it but I have no need or intentions the things she wrote were bad enough.

“””””Why are you selling all this...You too are crazy...what is up now???Please do not ruin mom and dads vacation...In fact don't even call them!! they have needed it sooo bad!!!!! I am so tired of this cycle with my kids...I bet mom and dad are totally worn out from you guys. Would it be so hard to admit you can not get it together, quit expecting help and pull your own...I am sorry we can not see eye to eye but what your not realizing is I had a life before Alaska...not much of one but I always had a roof over my kids heads, meals in their tummys and the school always knew how to find me. Erica may have been raised the way you guys are living...but Heath was not. He was not raised to be mean and negative. To put up with abuse both verbal and physical. and he was NEVER in want of food, clothing, or a warm bed. Erica you seem to thrive best on abuse, negative and dysfunction (your extremely "self indulgent" myspace photo gallery says your self centered). You scream obscenities at people who help you and not even to their faces...only over the phone while they are talking to your husband (my brother by the way). Maybe you should consider letting someone else raise your kids until you can get it together....so they to are not living off family when they grow up...kids learn from their parents. and yours are not learning good skills to function as adults...Josh is a great example of this. Anger and negative turned him into a pessimistic angry person who has trouble trusting anyone. Do you want this for your kids....think of their future girlfriends and boy friends....how they will treat their kids. Open your eyes to your own behavior as well as Josh and Crystals...you will see a resemblance with out the obsessive need to hurt people erica has. Erica your myspace portrait is your personality huh? You would love the control and negative energy a vampire would have...sweet heart your human (as much as some of us hate to claim you with our gender and species you are.) You are evil this I have learned through the years...but the only "magic" you hold is the ability to control those around you because they do not want to hear you big mouth blast off. Is this how you want your kids to think of you...they will take their families and run someday...then your screwed out the reward of parenting....Grandchildren. Erica there is still a small part of me that actually likes you...I am not sure why. But that part would love to see you pull it together. Your a lot of fun when your multiple personality of positive choses to show up. You need help girlfriend...you need help in a bad way. Unfortunately you have bit the hands of all that have helped you. The ones that would truly practice unconditional love with you...the ones that you should be thanking from the bottom of your heart for all the assistance you have received over the last 9 years. I did it with no one...you have something I have always wanted and you take it for granted. Although I think you take everything for granted except your "own beautiful face". Guess no one has talked to you about wrinkles and age...it will get you too so you may want to find something else to focus all your time on.

Now I wrote this because talking to you is useless...you tell me what you know I want to hear but never follow through. Usually you can lie through your teeth to get your way. I knew this but allowed it because I love my brother and his kids. I wanted to love you to...but since I am a "selfish Bitch" I will not share my love with you. Nor will I EVER be selfish...a Bitch yes...when it is needed...but never selfish. I just chose when to stop giving...your bad names and verbal abuse made me chose to stop.

I want it known that Heather and Hunter always have a place here. I do not "bad talk" parents, you can ask my boys how much abuse I will take but I believe children will draw their own conclusions in due time and they need the opportunity to learn to trust or mistrust without interference from my beliefs. Heath too always has a place.

Erica you don't! I have taken and watched you abuse my family, did you even think about the 8 grand mom and dad had to fork out on your truck to save their own asses?? You will never pay them back...nor will you ever feel guilt for it...you have no conscience. I could go on and on here but I will not if you have any bit of humanness in you you know what you have done to my family. Poison Erica...your Poison to yourself and everyone you claim to care about.

So why are you running now...and why back to Homer. Funny how it happens very quickly while mom and dad are not home. Going to go take advantage of them again...or maybe call them so they will worry and cut their trip short. I beg you not to. Please do not even call them unless it is to say "Hope your trip is wonderful." They will be home soon enough.

I know this has pissed you off, and I know you will go on and on about it to anyone who will listen. Just want you to know...I kept a copy. I will print it out and have no problem showing it to anyone you chose to lie to about it. The truth hurts. I also want to point out that I have said nothing here that I have not said to your face in the past.

On that note...I am going to guess Heath will be pissed at me, probably wont talk to me for awhile so I want him to know...I LOVE him very much and want him and his kids to have a better life than they have. I am willing to do anything in my power to help him....with out you...unless you get some serious help.

Heath...I love you and know what your dealing with...been there done that...when you forgive me for being honest (or maybe thank me)...I will be here.
Shana”””””
I would like to point out that at the time this letter was received she had no clue as to what we were doing because we wanted to get the rest of our details worked out before we told everyone. We DID NOT plan this move so that Stan and Terry would cut their vacation short and why should they? Heath and I agree that Stan and Terry needed this vacation and are glad that they decided to do it. If she thinks that they are worn out from us then how must they feel towards her and her constant issues and begging for money? Or how about faking that she had cancer when her entire family knew that she did not.
Why does she feel she has the right to lecture us about getting our life together? Is it because she makes so MANY mistakes in her life that she has the right to condemn people for the mistakes they have made in theirs? So tell me, given her present situation what valuable bits of wisdom has she received and when will she apply them to her own life instead of messing around with someone else’s life?

“”…I have always had a roof over my kid’s heads, meals in their tummies and the school always knew how to find me…””

How quickly she has forgotten the condition she was living when she called Alaska and borrowed money from everyone including Heath and I so she could move her family up here. I am assuming that the jab about the school always knowing how to find you is regarding the school nurse contacting Heidi’s house. Let me ask this. In the days before cell phones if your kids were in school and you had to go to the store, did they know how to find you there? The phone call was about the kid’s eye appointment and was NOT an emergency had it been they knew that I was at home and they could contact me there. I left instructions with the principal.
Also how much of a home is your house with no heat, warm water to wash your dishes or bathe your children? How about a way to cook your food or a light to read by? Did she make sure that all these were taken care of before she ran off to Anchor Point for the summer? Nope. She left it all up to her husband and her CHILDREN. What lesson are we supposed to learn from that? When she is speaking about roofs over her children’s heads is she talking about the two homes she has had repossessed? When have my children EVER not had a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs?

“””…Erica may have been raised the way you guys are living...but Heath was not. He was not raised to be mean and negative. To put up with abuse both verbal and physical. and he was NEVER in want of food, clothing, or a warm bed. Erica you seem to thrive best on abuse, negative and dysfunction (your extremely "self indulgent" myspace photo gallery says your self centered)…”””

This is a personal attack on my childhood which I had no control of. While my father was abusive my mother was not and I speak for her when I say that she has no right to say that I was raised to be mean and negative. She had a wonderful childhood so what is her excuse for being mean and negative?
As far as the verbal and physical abuse yes I do have a temper and yes I have talked to my husband in ways that are shameful. I do not and can not deny it. Had anybody been around us in the last year they would have noticed that changes have been made and while I am still a work in progress there is light at the end of the tunnel. As far as the physical abuse I do not physically abuse my husband! How silly is that!
No person thrives on abuse, negativity and dysfunction if she was as educated as she claims she would know this. A person may get short term satisfaction or feel good for the moment but they do not actually thrive and I am no exception. I do not crave negativity and dysfunction and it seems since the letter I received was not prompted by any actions by me or my husband, so the only person who likes negativity and dysfunction is her. Now ask yourselves how many times has she stirred the pot in your relationship each time blaming someone else and each time it is caused by a shortage of her meds or other “stuff”. The old saying goes misery loves company and she is a perfect example.
As for my photos they are mine and that is myspace if you do not like looking at my photos then don't. I take pictures of myself to show examples of what my photography abilities are and also to show to family members who have not seen me in almost twenty years who I am. If I am self centered for taking these pictures then so is every person on myspace! What about a person very close to her who also enjoys taking pictures of herself does that also mean that she is self indulgent and self centered? And isn't anything we do for ourselves self indulgant? So I guess because I enjoy taking pictures, when I am doing that I am being self indulgent. Guilty! Ha Ha Ha!



“””You scream obscenities at people who help you and not even to their faces...only over the phone while they are talking to your husband (my brother by the way)…”””

Uh, first what did you did you do for us? A roof over our head and a place to store our stuff? Maybe she should explain to everybody how much money we brought into her home when we stayed with her, or maybe that SEVERAL nights we paid for dinner for the entire house because she had no food! Lets see we were two supplying food for how many? Anywhere from 7 to 9 people! Not to mention the OTHER “stuff” we contributed to her household. On top of that she had the nerve to call her parents and beg them for
money to help with her “burden” and she was hurt when her mom wouldn't. She used her brother and I as excuses to beg for money and complain to others. Oh and thanks for throwing my kid’s toys in my front yard just because she got her panties in a wad. I mean what was that about and why did she do that to my kid‘s stuff?
I haven't screamed in several, several months and the time on the phone she is referring to I did not even yell it. I did call her selfish and rightly so. I invited her kids over for my daughter's birthday party and she couldn’t get over herself for two minutes and let the kids come over. Also I thought it
would be an offer that she would enjoy due to the fact that it was her belated anniversary and her and her husband could get away! She did the same thing to our son on his birthday so I shouldn't have expected anything different.
Also she does not deserve to call him her brother. All she has done to him is put him in a bad position and every time she bad mouths me she is hurting him. Also if she loved him so much why would she call him and accuse him of stealing his brother’s trailer? After we talked to him he told us he had no clue where she came up with that?! Why would she do that to my husband if she cared SO much for him?

“””…Maybe you should consider letting someone else raise your kids until you can get it together....so they to are not living off family when they grow up...kids learn from their parents. and yours are not learning good skills to function as adults...Josh is a great example of this. Anger and negative turned him into a pessimistic angry person who has trouble trusting anyone. Do you want this for your kids....think of their future girlfriends and boy friends....how they will treat their kids. Open your eyes to your own behavior as well as Josh and Crystals...you will see a resemblance with out the obsessive need to hurt people Erica has…”””

This part really bothered me. Once again she feels she has the right to talk so poorly about my ability to raise my children. How dare she. Yes we have not been stable and I realize they need that but they are NOT in any harm so why should someone else raise them? Was she thinking that she could do it better? This coming from the woman who let her daughter do WHAT at eight years old and now lets a fifteen year old girl run the streets of Anchorage at two o’clock in the morning! I dare anyone else try to tell me I should let someone else raise my children!
I care deeply for the people around me who love me for who I am and the ones who deserve respect. If you are not on that list it is not my problem and you have probably done something in the past to get crossed off that list! I do not have an obsessive need to hurt people I will just ignore you if I don't like you!

“””…Erica your myspace portrait is your personality huh? You would love the control and negative energy a vampire would have...sweet heart your human (as much as some of us hate to claim you with our gender and species you are.) You are evil this I have learned through the years...but the only "magic" you hold is the ability to control those around you because they do not want to hear you big mouth blast off…”””

Just to clarify for those who do not know what portrait is mentioned above it is a self portrait that I photo shopped one day while fooling around with my program. I did it just to see if I could and because it is a good talent to have for editing my pictures. I chose a vampire because I was fixing my teeth and I thought it would be funny! I also thought it would be a good way to show how good I was if I made it look realistic! Recently due to the upcoming Halloween season not only did I change my background to a spooky scene I also put the only spooky picture I had on there. I did not do this picture because I want to be a Vampire how asinine can she be?! Just to let her know Vampires are mythical creatures and they are NOT real. I don’t have magical powers nor do I control any one.

""“…The ones that would truly practice unconditional love with you…""“

Does she even know what unconditional means? Maybe she should pull out that dictionary again! If she truly practiced unconditional love then why did she write this letter? She has never practiced unconditional love for me and it might even be fair to say that for everyone she knows. This has been true since her first trip to Alaska and has only gotten worse over the years.

“””…I did it with no one...""“

Was this before or after she borrowed money to fly up here, then stayed at her mom and dad's house, then they paid to ship all her stuff up here, or bought the tan truck for her, found her first trailer in Homer, gave her a job at the video store and borrowed money from us! She mentioned being thankful for the things done for me but claiming that she did it with no one makes her seem a little ungrateful herself!

""...you have something I have always wanted and you take it for granted. Although I think you take everything for granted except your "own beautiful face". Guess no one has talked to you about wrinkles and age...it will get you too so you may want to find something else to focus all your time on.""

First when she talks about me having something she always wanted is she talking about my husband? There seems to be this jealousy issue that is what all of her nasty remarks and crap she has pulled has been about. What do I take for granted? How blessed I am that I have a wonderful husband that does know the meaning of true unconditional love and two beautiful children. Every day that I wake up and the stress of life gets me down I just have to remind myself how lucky I really am! As far as she thinking I am beautiful, I guess a thank you is in order because I have wrinkles and grey hair. When I was working I did my hair every day and applied makeup just like MOST females out here. Now that I am not working I have no reason to wear it anymore. I just have this thing called self respect and I try not to walk around twenty four seven looking like I just rolled out of bed!

""“ …I do not "bad talk" parents…""“

This definitely not true! When she started telling people that the reason my children were crossed eyed was because I dropped them or in another story I shook them is that not bad mouthing me? She told one girl that I gave my children shaking baby syndrome! How dare she! She has drug my name as a parent through the mud so many times I can not even count them all. It is sick to hear the stories that get back to me about what she has said. I am glad the only way she can back her case is by lying . I am not the only parent in our family that she has claimed to be unfit it all depends on how bad a day she is having and who she is talking to.

“""…I have taken and watched you abuse my family, did you even think about the 8 grand mom and dad had to fork out on your truck to save their own asses?? You will never pay them back...nor will you ever feel guilt for it...you have no conscience…”""

First off the truck was not just MY responsibility my husband and I are a team when it comes that so anything you accuse me of you are also accusing your brother. Second yes we did get the truck repossessed. I worked hard for the money to get that truck back harder than I have in my life because I also had rent to pay for. Do you know what it is like to have earned that money, all of it, and getting that sigh of relief knowing you have it taken care of it, then the disappointment of having it all slip through your fingers because your boss won't pay you? Your parents have NOT forked any money over for the truck and I have already talked to your mom and we have discussed payment arrangements regarding the debt that is left to them. When the truck was taken we not only lost our vehicle for work but also our way to get our kids to their appointments and even a simple trip to the grocery store was almost impossible. If there was anything we could have done to keep that truck we would have. We know have to live with not only not having ANY transportation but with the fact that we had paid so much into that truck and have nothing to show for it. Yes I have my moments where I have argued with certain people in the family and while I will not except entire blame for those fights I do acknowledge my part in them. When it comes to fights I have had with her she has instigated and fueled them ALL. She talks of abuse but the only person who has brought this abuse is her. She is the one who doesn't have a conscience. You know why? Because she is so crazy she actually believes the crap she spews forth so she will never think she is wrong for any of the crap she pulls. Since she has never been held accountable for all the things she has done it doesn’t help. Like telling me this summer that her Mother made her four year old daughter serve my children and then went on to explain to me how my children are mentally challenged and developmentally behind because they never have to do anything for themselves. What crap. My daughter is SEVERAL levels above her classmates and my son could take apart her car and put it back together again.


""So why are you running now...and why back to Homer. Funny how it happens very quickly while mom and dad are not home. Going to go take advantage of them again...or maybe call them so they will worry and cut their trip short. I beg you not to. Please do not even call them unless it is to say "Hope your trip is wonderful." They will be home soon enough.""

See here once again she is completely full of BS. She doesn’t know what she is talking about so she has to come up with false scenarios so she seems intelligent? (This is also the case for all her “medical knowledge” ) This is how intelligent she is. She runs off to Anchor Point once again ditching her family because she is concerned that we were moving into Stan and Terry’s when all she had to do was contact her son, Heidi or even talk to her parents who we had already told what we were doing. No she has to freak out and runs to Homer using the excuse that she had to help her in laws. She may try to deny this but this was confirmed y a VERY reliable source that I know she will not want to call a liar who by the way thought she was silly for her actions!
Her concern makes me laugh because I remember a time a few years back when she broke into her parents home and snuck Chris in and was caught when her brother walked in on her. The sick part was they were doing right there on the living room floor and she didn’t even bother stopping!
So to clear things up we are staying with MY mom in Homer, we never even planned on staying at your parents and when have we taken advantage of your parents? Once and for all I want this made clear so she can quit being so jealous! My husband worked for Stan for many years devoting his entire life so far to that store. He has sacrificed so much for that store all the while being told he would be running it someday and then his son would. Everything besides the truck was a fair trade at the time. My husband has done more for your father than any of you and while that may be harsh it is true. What did any of you do for your father and that store? Oh that’s right you were all busy with your lives which is understandable, but you all act like now you have been there all along. She left at fifteen because she couldn’t keep her legs closed and got knocked up and left state. She will obviously always have DAD issues and I wonder when did she stop saying all those horrible things about her parents? ALL those lies about how horrible they were to her or has she forgotten all the things she has said?

Well there it all is. I know that most will think this letter inappropriate and that is your right. I have been accused of many things and I am finally putting a stop to the sickness. Over the past ten years I have had to listen to people accuse me of countless atrocities and I have had to take it always being told “that’s just the way they are” is it no wonder I am the angry person I am today? I have been shown letters written to my husand telling him how sorry everyone is that he is stuck with me and how they know that he is only with me because he fears I will take the kids from him. I have heard countless rumors spread about me including that I slept with some other guy. I never did sleep with some other guy and to this day Heath is my first and only. You would all love to believe that I had though. What you guys don’t see is you do not need an excuse, you just dislike me and some even hate. What I have to come to terms with is I can’t make any of you like me and I am done trying. I will be civil because of my husband but that is it. I will no longer be torn apart by jealous vicious people who are so unhappy in their lives that they have to destroy someone else’s .
I have been accused of controlling and abusing my husand but look at what ALL of you have done to him. You think you are supporting him but you are pushing him into a direction he does not want to go. You act like he has no intelligence and is unable to make his own decisions. You have constantly told him how wrong he is for the choices he makes including marrying me. How do think that affects him? You talk of abuse and control but what do you call your behavior?
At this point I am giving this warning. Have you heard of Slander and Defamation of Character? Well she is pushing the issue and my next step to get a gag order put into effect because I have had ENOUGH! This has gone beyond just simple concern for her brother and is now a vindictive attack against me and my character.