hmm....

What a night…

We have been living in LA for several weeks now and every day I am reminded how small town I am. I have just now adapted to the traffic and the noise, and the commercial airlines taking off above my head don’t amaze me quite as much anymore. Just as I found myself getting use to the swing of things in LA, I found myself getting bored and needing to have some fun. Well as it turned out, I was not he only one who felt this way, my siblings also were looking for something fun to do. After several phone calls and planning we decided that we would have a fun night on the town. I will say that I am only partially guilty for the fun we had-had I known what my creative siblings planned for this night on the town…

The evening started off with us locking the kids upstairs. We did this with lots of goldfish, juice and movies. I would have to say that all 20 of them were munching safely by themselves by the time we snuck out.

Yeah, we had to sneak out the window. Which kind of scared me, I like to think of myself as an adult, so why was I sneaking out the bedroom window? No one seemed to hear my question though and we all piled through. I almost thought for one second we were busted. My butt would not fit through the window and I thought I was stuck, but I finally got through.

Safely free of the house and the horde of children, we went to this party that was supposed to be pretty elite and private party. Wow, I thought, I am finally moving in some good social circles. I mean some people live here for years and don’t get in with these social classes. I was so nervous about fitting in and not standing out, you know letting my country roots show. Not only was the party really exclusive, but I really wanted to fit in so I didn’t even question them when they gave me a hat to wear. I mean the thing was hard to pin on, but every one of my siblings did it with ease, so I just put it on and shut up.

Drinks were passed out and like a good little guest I drank.

I do not feel too terrible about that because every one was drinking. Some of the shot glasses they served drinks in were a little interesting, but more interesting was the effect the drinks had on us guests. Someone’s nipples actually changed colors,

while other guests were lured into lewd displays of public affection!

I have to think that there was a “special” ingredient in the drinks that would make several straight thinking, responsible adults act this way. There was even some little machine they would put on our heads and it made your head all tingly. Looking back maybe it wasn’t the drinks after all.

After that we got to watch, by my standards, a very weird fashion show. Several of the guests were displaying a popular brand of underwear. I guess I need to get some for they seem very popular with both guys and girls.

My sister in laws started fighting over them, one tried to rip the under ware off the other and ended up with a black eye for it.

After the strange fashion show we went egging. Yeah, I said egging. I thought that egging was just for racists and punks, but I guess not because we went. I have to say that egging is not easy and when you are hit with one, it hurts, and then you’re covered with slime that has the potential to either make you sick or kill you. Nice. Not only that, when people drove by they kept yelling obscenities at us. Most of the stuff they yelled could not be understood, but the stuff I could make out had something to with Gooks Clucks Plan and our white party hats. I am not for sure about what they are saying, but I do know for sure that I will not be moving into that neighborhood any time soon!

We returned to the party and consumed some more alcohol. At this time I remember thinking that maybe there really was something extra in our drinks, but I found myself not really caring. Shortly after that we started playing games. Well they started out as friendly competition but then turned ugly. The next thing I remember thinking, as marsh mellows were zipping over my head that this was war, and every man was for himself. Some how we were all under attack, being barraged with private parts, kitties, marsh mellows and a flying monkey.

Now this is really where my memory gets bad. If I recall the flying monkey actually kept landing in my sister-in-law’s cleavage and when he would unexpectedly launch himself across the room, he would make this kind of screeching and wailing cry! She didn’t seem to mind though, so we all kind of ignored it after awhile. I mean really, flying monkeys, what are you going do?

Some of us wore the proof of how vicious the fight actually was. The aftermath was even worse. I found marsh mellows in my purse the next morning. We then enjoyed some banana cream pie handmade by my niece. The pie while delicious was a little interesting. We had to drink it from paper plates? I am not sure why.

As the evening drew to a close those who were not covered in marshmallows or banana cream pie got completely covered in beer. Good thing my sister-in-law did not get pulled over on they way home. We had no choice but to go home and go to sleep at this point. With our heads light and swimming we decided it was time to go home. The next morning we had to face reality again, and that means dealing with a bunch of kids. That’s Great.